What makes a great parent?
A great parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the best interest of the kid.
What can make a great parent is not just defined by the parent 's actions, but also their intention.
A great parent does not have to be perfect. No one is perfect. No child is perfect either … keeping this in mind is essential when we set our expectations.
Profitable parenting is not about achieving perfection. Though it does not mean that we shouldn't work to that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves first and then the children of ours second. We function as important role models for them.
Top 10 Parenting Tips
Here are 10 tips for a terrific parenting experience, including how you can stay away from bad parenting, and be an even better parent.
They aren't all that simple or quick.
And most likely nobody is capable of doing them all the time.
Although you might not absolutely do all of these things, however, the tips in this parenting guide can help you move in the right direction.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't just tell your child what you want them to do.
The best way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation. We are programmed to copy others' actions, comprehend them, and incorporate them in to our personal. Children, particularly, watch everything the parents of theirs do very thoroughly.
Thus, function as the person you want your child to be - respect your child, demonstrate to them good attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - and your child will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Demonstrate the love of yours.
There is no such thing as loving your child too much. To love them can't spoil them.
Only what you choose to do (or give) in the title of love may - things like material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over-protection. When these things are provided in place of love that is real, that's when you'll have a spoiled kid.
To love your child can be as easy as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and listening to your child's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love is able to trigger the release of feel good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals can provide us a full sense of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the kid, will acquire resilience and never to mention a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Infants are born with around 100 billion brain cells (neurons) with comparatively few connections. These connections create the thoughts of ours, drive our actions, shape the personalities of ours, and basically determine who we're. They're created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They'll then be able to see positive experiences themselves and also offer them to others.
But if you give the child of yours negative experiences, they will not have the kind of development needed for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go on the park. Laugh with your child. Allow them to have positive attention. Drive through an emotional tantrum with them. Solve an issue together with a positive mind-set.
These positive experiences create excellent neural connections in your child's brain and create the memories of you your kid carries for life.
When it comes to discipline, it appears to be hard to remain positive, especially when dealing with behavior problems. But it's possible by using positive discipline and avoiding strong discipline.
Being a good parent means you have to teach your child the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind when you set rules and implement them. Focus on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be an opportunity for them to learn for the future in a good way, instead of to get punished for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR The CHILD of yours
Let the child of yours know that you'll remain there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept the child of yours as a person. Be a warm and safe place for your child to explore from and go back to.
Kids raised by parents that are consistently responsive tend to have better psychological regulation development, interpersonal skills development, and mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with YOUR CHILD And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us know already the value of communication. Talk to the child of yours and also listen to them carefully. By keeping an open line of communication, you'll have a better relationship with your child and your kid may come for you when there is an issue.
But there is an additional reason behind communication. You help your child integrate different parts of their brain, a critical process in a child's development.
Integration is similar to our body, in which different organs must coordinate and work together to have a trully healthy body. When various regions of the brain are incorporated, they are able to function harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and much better mental well-being.
To do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication.
You don't need to offer solutions. You do not have to have all of the answers to be a good parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using words that are simple are going to help them make sense of their experiences and integrate the memories of theirs.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
A lot of us wish to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had a good upbringing and a thankful childhood might wish to change some elements of how they were brought up.
But very often, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak the same as the own parents of ours did.
Reflecting on the own childhood of ours is a step towards understanding why we parent how we do. Make note of things you would like to change and think of how you would do it differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be mindful and change the behavior of yours the next time those issues come up.
Do not give up in case you do not succeed at first. It will take practice, lots of practice to consciously change one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Pay attention to Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents need relief also.
Give consideration to your own well-being to avoid parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things such as your own needs or maybe the health of the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when a child is born. When you don't take note of them, they will become bigger issues down the road. Take time to enhance the relationship of yours with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents are more vulnerable to fighting. Do not be afraid to request parenting help. To have some "me time" for self care and stress management is important to revitalize the mind.
How parents take proper care of their child physically and mentally can make a big difference in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, too.
#8: Don't SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking is able to bring about short term compliance which occasionally is a much-needed help for the parents.
However, this method does not teach the kid right from wrong. It only teaches the kid to fear external consequences. The child will be motivated to avoid getting caught with behavior that is inappropriate.
Spanking your child is modeling to your kid parentinghowto that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked, smacked, or maybe hit is more prone to fighting along with other children. They are more apt in order to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to resolve disputes.
Later on in life, they're additionally more likely to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, worse parent child human relationships, mental health issues, and domestic violence victims or even abusers.
You will find an assortment of better alternatives to discipline that have been shown to be much more effective, such as good discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is your goal in raising a kid?
When you are like most parents, you want your child to do well in school, be prosperous, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy good associations with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
But how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you're like the majority of parents, you most likely spend the majority of the time simply attempting getting through the day. As authors, Bryson and Siegel, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole-Brain child, rather than helping your kid thrive, spent most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel angry or frustrated, step back. Think about what anger and frustration will do for you or your child.
Instead, find ways to turn every bad experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums could be turned into priceless brain sculpting moments in case you concentrate on teaching the child of yours, not trying to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is taking advantage of what's already known by scientists.
Parenting is one of the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting techniques, practices, or traditions have been scientifically researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For best parenting advice for increasing a kid and information which are supported by science, here's one of my favorite science-based parenting guides, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all approach. Every child is different. Quite possibly within the best parenting style, there can be a variety of effective parenting methods you can choose based on your child's temperament.
A very good example is using spanking to discipline. You will find numerous better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You can choose a non punitive discipline method that actually works best for the child of yours.
Of course, you are able to additionally choose to utilize "traditional" or "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or maybe spanking) and also may nonetheless get a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children with various temperaments react to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those people who are less prone may "turn out fine" no matter how strong their parents treat them. Though it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting cannot be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice may not be the simplest way to parent. It may require much more work on the part of yours in the short term but can help you save lots of time and agony in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great point is, that although parenting is hard, it's additionally very rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards usually come much later than the effort. But in case we try our best now, we'll eventually reap the rewards and have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!